Friday, April 15, 2011

Dixie

Well, I know my posts have been consistent, which is good...but sorry to all those who get annoyed by my frequent blogs.

Today's Topic:

Dixie State College!

The place I have LOVED the last 3 years...
Met 1,000 friends who have made me the person I am today.
Had a BLAST almost every single day.
Lived in the sun & heat.
Went on so many adventures I can't count em.
Found my passion.
Got my education.
On my own. This is the place I truly GREW up.
Made plenty of stupid decisions.
Found myself.


If I think about it, St. George, Utah is where I've done the most growing in my life.
I grew up in a little town and had a terrific family and friends, and getting the opportunity to leave it and grow on my own was yet, a challenge, but it has been an amazinggggg ride-- to say the least.

Probably the thing with the most impact on me is: FRIENDS.

I fall veryyyy quickly into the decisions of others. I'm very easily persuaded...which sucks.
I wish this weren't the case...but I wouldn't be who I am today without seeing the things I have.

I honestly love saying "i've lived." I know I haven't experienced stuff, but I am proud to say that I got out of my "Brigham Bubble," drove 360 miles away and got to see the world for myself. I saw things that lots haven't. I know what's out there (I don't know a lot--this is true, but I have seen all I want to see). When I mean I've seen what I want to see, I mean in the "worldly" aspect. I've been to Vegas nummmmmerrrous times. I've been to parties I can't count. and I've seen things that I can truly say that I understand the world a lot more than those who never leave their original city. I'm not saying that there's not this stuff there...cause there is. I'm just saying that coming here, I've gotten to experience things COMPLETELY on my own. I don't have my parent's to rely or report to. I make the decisions I make FOR me.

One thing I've learned being here is not to judge ANYONE. It comes back to haunt you if you do. I can't say how many times I've thought badly about a person for doing something and then find myself doing the same thing. It sucks to admit this, but yeah. People are AMAZING. Everyone makes their own choices. It's funny to see where people really end up, and if they have enough drive to get them to where they want to be. Everyone is the way they are for a reason. I feel that coming here has also helped me realize this. Going to college, you meet thousands of people you've never seen before. You have to start from scratch. You have to learn about them...from the time they were born to adolescence to adult hood. You learn why a person drinks. You learn why a person is addicted to drugs. I'm not saying that people get excuses for stuff, but I'm saying that everyone is the way they are for a reason...Never EVER judge someone before you understand their situation...and again, you can't really judge after that. I love people in general...they're amazing.

You know their name...not their story.

Is what I have to say to anyone who wants to judge someone. The place I've noticed this in my life recently is people I want to date, or have dated. So many judge someone off of what they have done, and not what they bring to the table. Great people make mistakes too.. Some larger than others and I'm not justifying anything...they just fell.

No one has the right to judge anyone. Many think they have that power, but they don't. They may know stories, or confessions...but they don't truly know someone. They don't know how it is to be that other person. Especially because there are things we don't even admit to ourselves...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to turn into a psychobabble about feelings and yeah...just people have such an effect on me and I'm so grateful for meeting so many people who have influenced me.
----
New topic: The future.

I'm so scared for the future. I'm moving to Logan on May 7th, 2011. A new freaking freezing leaf. haha. but yeah. I'm super stoked for new people and new experiences.

I hate the cold...so we'll see how I'll handle it.

St. George isn't the place to date I decided (along with like, 20 others I've discussed this with). It's purely for hooking up. And soooo I'm very excited to start dating. Every time I go home for the weekend I go on more dates than I've been on down here in the month...or more. yep. It's sad...however my kissing numbers...well, since I've moved to St. George, my numbers of high school hasn't doubled or tripled...it's like 15x itself... If that makes sense. Only 6% of my kisses were in high school. Sad to admit..but true. But in high school I was scared of it...so whatever. haha. I'm excited for GOOD guys. Hopefully...haha. I guess we'll see what Logan has to offer.

I'm excited to be done with college! and to be off to the next great adventure the world holds for me. Why stick in one place? I'm young and single.. might as well try everything out.


I want to replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.

Change is going to happen regardless of how I do it....soooo I want to make it good.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Games

Love games. Everyone plays them...regardless of who you are and what you believe in.

It's the law of attraction...you want what you can't have and therefore you must convince the other person to want you without seeming to into the other person. It's very difficult to explain.

We all want love...it's as simple as that.

And the reason for this blog is I find myself constantly in this game...and it SUCKS.

Here's how it goes:

Everyone is a player.
So let's play a game.
Let's sweet talk.
Let's play fight.
Let's talk 24/7.
Let's tell each other good morning and good night--every day.
Let's take walks together.
Let's give each other nicknames.
Let's hang out with each others friends.
Let's go on dates.
Let's talk on the phone all night.
Let's hold each other.
Let's kiss and hug.
....& Whoever falls in love first...
Loses.

Ugh. That about sums it up.

I hate playing hard to get...but it seems to be the only thing that works.
I miss people and trying not to "care" is hard.

Lately I feel the need to detach myself from people that I don't think are good for me.
People who...well, I think that I care more about them than they do for me. It isn't healthy..and it's sooo hard.
Like an addiction? kind of.

Anyway, I can't wait for this stupid game to be over with.
But at the same time...It makes sense.

Love the player, hate the game.
Simple as that...
although it sucks.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Feelings

Well, today as it rains outside and i'm sitting..bored at work..
I thought about things that i love. FEELINGS i love, to be more direct.

sounds stupid? let me explain.

i LOVE the feeling of rain in a hot tub. i realized that last night. it feels amazing. and i also love the feeling of rain, while sitting outside, etc. kissing in the rain is...really fun too. basically, rain is awesome...minus the fact that it's sometimes scary.
i love watching movies/reading, etc. when it's raining!
as i have explained before i'm definitely the type of person who loves fresh starts. rain is like that.
rain washes everything away..and leaves it smelling AWESOME. i just really like rain.





and i like pictures today...beware.

anyway another feeling i loveeeee (and am experiencing today) is soreness. i LOVE after a hard workout...you feel sore. like, LOVE it. yeah it sucks walking up stairs and feeling like a grandma and kind of waddle to class cause your back and legs KILL but deep down, i love it. it satisfies me to know that i have worked hard enough to get that feeling..


holding hands. i really love this. i have supppppper small hands and so if i am holding hands with someone who has big hands...i love it. actually anyone really. haha. it's just fun and makes me feel close to them. i would hold hands with friends, roommates...anything. i just like it.


i know this one is cliche...but first kisses. i just think it's a cool feeling. first kisses with a guy. any guy..well ones i like. but i meant not my first-first kiss...but first kisses. and now that we have that established...here is a pic.

i LOVE the feeling right before you fall asleep..where your body is completely content.
especially...if you don't have to get up the next morning.


feeling of being twitterpaited. gah. this sensation is awesome! haha. it doesn't happen very much and you can't plan it..but when it does... :)


hugs. the smallest simplest way to show someone you love them. i love big bear hugs. i love feeling loved. you can get em from anyone and feel happy. well, not everyone because, well, some people are creeps.


and last but not least...this feeling has been on my mind ALL day.
i am going home! home-home. and i get the same feeling every time i take exit 362, the feeling of excited, happy, and home. i love my family and i love brigham. i get to experience that today.
i love getting out of the car and seeing my house. it's such a good feeling. can't wait!


take luck, ♣
-meag.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

meagan ryanne young!

i am meagan ryanne young.


the middle name isn't real sadly...
me and my mom made it up when i was 4 and in preschool with 2 Meagan's...and it stuck.
i just like it too much to remove it.

i look like i'm 16. sadly. and honestly, i think i act like it too.

i love goofing off and being childlike. i don't want to grow up.

i love people. i believe that every person in my life was sent here for a reason to help/guide me to be who i'm supposed to become...even those bad influences. i definitely wouldn't be who i am without every person.

i'm slightly shy... and this reason is because i'm not comfortable around them. once you get me outta my shell, i'm completely different. i get intimidated easily..which is why i seem like it often.
another reason i seem shy is i'm a thinker. i think about everything..analyze others and myself.
not judging, but analyzing. i love trying to understand what makes someone who they are, and why they act the way they do.

if someone says something rude to me and doesn't mean to...it sticks with me for days.. and i know it shouldn't, and i try hard not to let it...but it does.

i'm quite indecisive. i hate making decisions.... it's also partly because i'm very laid back and don't care. when people make me choose what movie and stuff, if i care i'll speak up (like, i'm not a huge fan of action movies--sue me.) but, if i don't speak up...i generally don't care.

i laugh at everrrrrything. well, pretty much. i love laughing. makes my day seem less long, and makes life a heck-of-a-lot more interesting.

i love meeting people. back to my "analyzing" thing, i think people are so interesting. everyone is different. i find that soooo amazing, and well, ya just awesome.

i have the BEST family in the entire world. no joke. i lucked out. they're always teaching me things and making me a better person.

my close friends are also the most amazing people...i look at those people if i had a problem who i'd call...and well, the list goes on and on. THANKYOU for those who love me. i'm so blessed, geez. i can't say that enough. God surely made this life specific for me...because without my friends...i wouldn't have grown up like i have been. they've made me who i am.

sarcasm. once i know you a little better this flaw comes out ALL the time. i'm not sure where i picked it up...well actually that's a lie. my high school group was pretty sarcastic. i enjoy the little sass.

mistakes.. well, i have made plllllllleeeeennnnnnnnttttttyyy of mistakes in my time. plenty of mistakes that well, most don't know about...or care about? but well, i try and learn from them. and most of the time, i don't which causes me to have to re-live the mistake...and well, that sucks. i think that these "mistakes" i've made help me a lot. chip me off here and there...ya kno? yeah......i hope to be better.

the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. the most AMAZING thing. wow, i can't say that enough. i'm super proud to belong to the true and living church. i think living in Utah has made me take it for granted..but I believe it 100%. it makes me a better person. it makes me who i WANT to be. I'm so proud to belong to this church.

throughout my life my parents have raised me a certain way - to be honest, nice, responsible..etc. i am who i am because of how i was raised. i can only pray that my kids will take after their grandparents...and that i can teach them in the same way my parents taught me.

school - i could learn foreeeever. i love learning new things. if i could continue to take classes until i die, i would....without the whole paying for them and doing the homework. if i could just sit and listen and just, pick up things, i would be so much smarter. we're sent here to learn and grow! and well, i love it.

graduation! well, school is a hugeeee part of me. i am graduating with my bachelors soon..and it scares the heck out of me to know i'm done with a huge step in my life... a step some never reach. now what to do i do with my life?? i pushed myself really hard to get through school in 3 years...vs. 4. and well, i think it paid off. if you ask me why i did it, i couldn't tell you..but yeah.

money. sometimes i think it'd be nice to be given a nice car, education paid for, etc...but a LOT of things i have learned...is from learning how to be responsible with money and how to pay for things on my own. i'm very grateful my parent's taught me that principle. i'm not bashing on those given a lot, because they too are amazing and well, i would love that as well, i'm just saying that i'm grateful for the opportunity that i have..

i'd like to think i'm a hard worker. i try really hard to get everything done, and done right.

love: if i really think about it...a lot of what i want in this life is love. love from friends. love from family. love from a BOY.--who i have yet to meet.. or maybe i do..just yeah. idk. i constantly strive to make others love me...and receive love back. everything results back to love.

well, if you've read this you now should understand why i am the way that i am :)
i hope i didn't bore you too much.

-Meag

Monday, April 4, 2011

Change.

Yep, today my goal is to start the changeeeee that i need/want in my life.

I usually write my goals in my journal and yet...loose track of them...or motivation because they're secretive...but today the world will know the parts of me i need to change.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

I vow today to make a change for the better.

"Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted."


Well, here are the aspects worth changing:

Physical -
I want to work out, get in shape, eat healthy and feel better! and I know everyone says this..but I'm going to do it! Yep. I'm going to start being better and looking better for summer. :) and well, the rest of my life. I want to feel glad to be me, i guess.

after all, who would want to look like this?


Emotionally -
this is kind of a weird section to be talking about. it's more personal. but just be more positive and yeah :)

Spiritual -
scriptures daily! journal daily! and temple weekly. clean thoughts..and yeah. :)

Academically -
keep afloat. don't let myself do bad in classes and try my hardest to do my best.


Financially -
savvvvvvvvve money.

Socially -
try and make myself be more social. i feel like this semester since i've been so busy that when the time comes to hang out...i give up? and want to go to bed..? haha. as lame as that sounds. i just need to be more outgoing..cause deep down that's what i am.


It's time to take a risk...and I'm ready for that.